Life is a continuous process but to make our studies of life easier, we arbitrarily group life into stages with physical, mental and social characteristics. For we have infancy (1-5}, childhood (6-11) adolescence (12-17) and after that adulthood which is further sub-divided into mid-life (35-54) young old (55-65), middle old (65-75) and old-old (over 75). Old age is seen as the later part of life. There is no general definition of old age. Therefore you are as old as you feel but the United Nations have set 60 plus as old age.
We naturally acquire inflexible routine habits as we age. Marrying late to someone with inflexible and incompatible habits may pose a danger to the marriage. Studies also show high age difference may lead to infidelity. The higher the age difference, the higher the risk of infidelity, conflict and divorce.
The young woman may see her husband as a father or “sugar daddy” and the old man may see his wife as his daughter. An old man who becomes impotent may cause his young wife to seek pleasure elsewhere because body no be firewood.
Women are most fertile between ages 18-24. Studies show that after 35, only one in four women is fertile and after 40, half of women are infertile unlike men who can be fertile throughout their lifetime.. In fact medical experts do not encourage pregnancy after 40 because of its associated risks. Therefore, it is advisable for women to marry earlier than men.
Enhancing intimacy in old age marriage
Play your roles well. The man is the head of the family. He must be a good role model, protect his wife, provide for her basic needs, have a mission and vision and make mutual decisions with his wife. Be patient with your wife and love her unconditionally. Honour her otherwise your prayers will not be answered. (1 Pet. 3;7) A wife must remain submissive and be a help mate. Show interest in what your man does and be his cheer leader. Be a helpmate; take good care of the home and cook foods that are healthy. Be attractive and be a virtuous woman. (Pr. 31;10-31)
Make time for your marriage and deepen your friendship because studies show that more time spent with your spouse is linked with greater health and happiness. Support and take care of each other and make your spouse feel loved and cared for.
Make every effort to meet each other’s emotional needs. What a woman needs most are affection, companionship, family commitment and financial security. What a man needs most are respect and domestic care. You have ample time to share activities and enjoy years together especially if children are out of the nest.
Travel and visit friends. Compromise and find ways to satisfy each other. Dress to suit your age and accept getting old. It is said that if you do not use a dress for two years, then you do not need it. Give away what you do not need. Simplify your life and take good care of your health.
Show interest in sex because it is the deepest form of communication. Sexual life can continue throughout your lifetime depending on your health, diet, environment and intimacy. In fact, studies show that sexual love can be better and more fulfilling partly because you have no worries about possible pregnancy. Aim at quality and not quantity.
Think positive. Old age is not a negative period of life but a new stage of life. See it as a natural part of life and adjust to your circumstances. Accept that change is inevitable as we grow but you can have active and vibrant life. Your accumulated wisdom and skills help you age gracefully as you choose healthy lifestyle to compensate for your weakness. Be optimistic, have inner peace and look for the good things in your marriage so that you can celebrate them.
